From the High School Cafeteria to the Workplace Break Room: A Flatline

High school students–at least those who are either ugly and intelligent–often naively want to advance out of their station in life under the misconception of thinking that the dynamic of the cafeteria is going to change once they finagle a workplace situation. Regrettably, this rarely proves to be the case for those hoping to transcend into a social situation with more meaning.

But, yes, for the most part, life in the corporate break room isn’t all that dissimilar to the hell of the mess hall. And that’s what it is: a hot mess of different castes looking to assert their power over those they feel are “lesser than.” If it sounds a lot like the corporate internment camp you work at now, that’s because it is. The path from cafeteria to break room is a flatline on the electrocardiogram of your life. Maybe this is why you should waste your paycheck on partaking of the Midtown feeding frenzy instead. At least no one can see your friendless state outside the confines of the building.