In the endless plethora of corporate terms, “feedback” is by far one of the most euphemistic. It is yet another way that management tiptoes around what they actually want to say, which is, “Here are all the manners in which you’re failing us.”

Feedback comes often and when you least expect it, but at least twice a year in an official capacity so that there can be written documentation of how you’re being a shithead and so that HR can have some paperwork to file. No matter how monkey-like you think you’ve been performing, it will never be good enough, and you can rest assured that the only good kind of “Feedback” is Janet’s.