Embarrassment Is Already A Full-Time Job

Among the many other things besides waking up that humans should get paid for simply for enduring it is the regular amount of embarrassment they incur as a result of the developed drinking problem that comes from working in Midtown. With the availability of such happy hour-friendly watering holes as Beer Authority and Rudy’s (two sides of the same coin, in spite of the former being more “group-oriented”), it’s no wonder office workers are falling like dominoes at any given moment after 6 p.m.

And then there are those ill-advised confessions you’ll end up making to a co-worker you’ve pathetically decided to go out with after work in an attempt to “commiserate” when all you’re really seeking is the ability to not look like an alcoholic by evading drinking alone. Not to mention the constant potential for someone filming you and/or taking your picture if you let yourself lose enough control to warrant being deemed a spectacle. And then, next thing you know, you’re like that girl who went viral for falling asleep on a pizza.

In essence, it’s already a full-time job to handle the steady diet of humiliation–whether related to physical snafus, rejection or otherwise. Why must society add pretend work into the mix, too?