Don’t Know What You’re Doing? Just Make a Fart Noise

There are myriad ways to create diversions at the workplace, from feigning an injury (coffee scalding, ideally) in the break room for workers’ compensation purposes to getting your boss too drunk at lunch to care about anything after. But arguably the most effective means to throw people off from the fact that you have no idea what you’re doing (neither in life nor in cube life) is to make a resounding fart noise at anyone who questions you.

They might be initially scandalized by this reaction to their genuine desire to take work seriously, but if you make the fart noises in rapid succession, they’ll probably just walk away in a state of confusion greater than the one they experienced when they found out that Donald Trump was getting elected. Pretty soon, you might even find the trend spreading through the office, with one collective fart noise indicating that everyone else is just as clueless as you are.