Don’t Die In Midtown

There are numerous traumas associated with going to work in Midtown on a daily basis. From getting fat as a result of sitting unmoved all day to getting dumb as a result of no intellectual stimulation, it’s easy to see that cube life isn’t necessarily for little bitches.

But the most underlooked trauma of all is dying in Midtown, on the way to or coming from work–the worst possible death a person could have. You, of course, can’t always anticipate such a thing as it usually tends to be the cause of other people’s insanity, e.g. a rando depraved man who just wants to shoot everyone to feel vindicated for his own injustice. In any case, with all the wackos running rampant in this area, you should probably head to work with a bulletproof vest on. Oh yeah, and watch your step on the subway platform. Don’t die there either–that would be your fault.