Current Level of Job Search Activity: Passive

For whatever reason, prospective employers love not only to anally probe you via all elements of the internet ranging from LinkedIn to Facebook, but also somewhat rudely demand just how “active” your job search is. Obviously, if you’re bothering with their shittaytay application form at all, it’s fairly fucking active. But no, they want to be doubly certain of just how devotedly you’re willing to prostrate yourself to them.

And yet, all their barrage of queries serves to do is ultimately beat you into the submission of passivity that comes naturally with working in the first place. Of course you’re going to feel passive after telling them your “experience” (as though anything in the cubicle realm generates real experiences of any kind other than how to pile on the daily dose of numbing trauma) and responding to other piercing questions like computer skills, mother’s maiden name (for password purposes) and year graduated from college. Is there no room for mystery anymore, for fuck’s sake?

Can’t an employer just get to know you over time like any patient and doting lover? One supposes not, as there’s no sentiments of love when the exchange of money is involved. It really is enough to make one’s job search altogether “not active” so as to avoid these sessions of mental flogging over the internet, only to never be contacted at all by the proverbial corporate juggernaut.