Checking Emails Remotely

Thanksgiving (and the holidays in general) is a time of contemplation and depression. Whether you’re all by yourself or “reconnecting” with family, you most assuredly should not be checking emails for work remotely. Not only does it reveal that you’re a soulless fuck with no interest in a life beyond the office walls, but it also shows that you’re part of the reason why American culture is a self-obsessed, family-deprived juggernaut with no respect for anything except money.

Depending on the family you have, you may be open about checking your emails or you might pretend to have a weak bladder in order to retreat to the bathroom to check them. Either way, you’re contributing to the American sickness that is workaholicism–and for this you should feel shame. Moreover, it further brings up the question: If checking emails and responding to them is all there is to cube life, why do we have to go to the office at all?