But Where Are The Ribbons For Just Showing Up?

They say the millennial curse–the thing that has handicapped a generation and turned them into flaccids with so little gumption that they haven’t even got a sex drive anymore–started in the 90s, when elementary school teachers would simply give their students a gold star or ribbon for trying. The kind of job they did was of no consequence, it only mattered that they appeared to vaguely care about participating so as not to come across as a Timothy McVeigh type.

So it became ingrained in an age group that it was enough–adequate–to just “be there,” to grace an institution with one’s presence. Putting actual effort forth, engaging with that concept “pride of ownership” fell by the wayside. There is no pride in creating a spreadsheet after all. Maybe it should be enough to merely show up for that. Lately, however, it feels as though there’s a change afoot. Companies hiring prospective employees currently seem to want a full-fledged rectal exam before even letting you through their glass doors (and metaphorical glass house). Don’t bother applying without surrendering all accounts (meaning you’re fucked if you loathe social media and LinkedIn). The thing is, this hasn’t really improved the quality of hires, so much as weed out those incapable of putting on a synthetic personality. It makes one question, “Where are the ribbons for just showing up, hitting send on the resume submission button?”