Become Bulimic By Standing In Front of Kissing Booths in Times Square

While becoming fat and lumpy is a constant concern of the office worker relegated to his seat and only able to find enjoyment in eating, there is now a new cure for your unsightly body: effortlessly induced bulimia.

As a result of the “kissing booths” that will be installed in Times Square in anticipation of a holiday that only Tina Fey can transform from Valentine’s Day to Anna Howard Shaw Day, you can now vomit on command starting February 9th and ending March 6th. Because what could be more deserving of a good, hearty retching than the sight of ugo tourists touching and kissing each other in what is tantamount to a series of funhouse mirrors?