Assistant to the Assistant

Now and again in the corporate world, an employee in the lackey role will be burdened with so much work to do for their master that circumstances will allow for the hiring of an assistant for the assistant, so to speak. At first, an office worker might feel vaguely threatened by this, as though their boss is telling them that they’re too incompetent to perform all the tasks they’ve been placed in charge of. But then, a revelation: someone to take out your repressed aggressions on.

With this sudden modicum of power over another life, going to work each day becomes slightly more bearable as you tap into your inner sadist, and relish the thrill it lends you in being able to cope with your own trickle down oppression. In being permitted the luxury of winding someone else up like a toy, the now de-greased mechanism stuck up your back doesn’t feel as pliable, as though you’ve been invigorated by this scant sprinkle of authority. And as you put your legs up on your desk and savor the coffee your assistant has brought you (after you’ve taken the coffee she also got for your boss to your boss, of course), the working arena appears to you as nothing more than a toy chest microcosm, where every wind-up toy is dealt varying degrees of stamina depending on whether or not they have an underling.