Those fixated on the undead have often debated over the fundamental differences between a zombie and a mummy. The less informed will try to tell you that they’re both basically the same, but, in truth, the zombie is the deader between the two–matched only in deadness by the office worker. While zombies are merely reanimated corpses, the office worker is so much more than that in deadness, actually walking around, fully “alive” in technical terms, but far deader than the zombie. Or even the mummy, “ceremonially preserved by removal of the internal organs, treatment with natron and resin, and wrapping in bandages.”
However, when all three of these dead entity classifications come together in the single setting of a bar, things can actually get pretty lively in comicality. For one, the mummy’s bandages always end up catching fire from one of the mood lighting candles set atop the bar in time for the post-six o’ clock set. Even though the furthest thing from any dead person’s mind is the pursuit of sex–granted, many a necromancer has tried to “penetrate” the trio’s aloof veneer. After the zombie has doltishly put out the mummy’s fire with the natural molded soppiness of his hands, the office worker will suddenly come out of his perpetual haze and say something like, “Huh? There was a fire?” for optimal Three Stooges effect. And so continues the cycle of slapstick, night after night until the mummy’s bandages are ultimately burned to the threadbare minimum and the office worker and the zombie are left alone as a grunting duo to compete for the status of most (“un”)dead.