All Employees Can Be Suppressed With the Promise of Free Food in the Break Room

In the days when communism was still at its height, perhaps employers in notoriously cuisine-lacking nations like Russia and China weren’t thinking clearly in their strategy to prevent employees from a mass uprising. They didn’t understand the power of food–especially pizza–the way capitalists do now.

If only Stalin and Mao had known: all potential employee insurgencies can be quelled with the simple offering of a catered spread in the break room. Even the most palpable disgruntlement can be shoved down with a free slice of pizza, followed by some off-brand soda to wash away the last traces of rebellion.